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This is disturbing. I have a visitor from Venezuela. Until about ten minutes ago I did not know how to SPELL Venezuela. But hey, you learn something everyday. Unless you're at school.

I have a good excuse for not posting for...shit it's been three months. Thats a while. Not in the context of the universe being around for fourteen billion years, but in cyberspace its a while. Anyway, my excuse is being in Europe for two months without my beloved laptop. Hmm, beloved sounds creepy. My good ol' laptop. Meh. Too Texas/redneck. But yeah, I've been away. Its done me good. France is cool, Italy is cool, England...could do with a better traffic management system. And less I SCREWED YOUR MOTHER t-shirts. Guys, come on.

But this post is about more than just...uh...stuff. This post is about X Factor. Or as the TV stations like to call it:

X FACTOR

 Seriously, though. The all-encompassing doom of X Factor has managed to crawl it's way past border security (which is little) through the conscience of Television New Zealand (which is zero) and onto our shores. Your might think "Whats so wrong with X Factor?". Well, I could just use those two words: One Direction. I could also add the supposedly successful judges. I mean, Britney Spears had two divorces, plenty of psychological meltdowns and way too much plastic surgery. Hardly a role model for impressionable little Carly Rose Soneclar. Or maybe we could throw in the dreadfully accented Reece Mastin of Austrabritannia, as his voice suggests. And then there's the failures. Nobody remembers G4, the band that came second in 2004. Whereas Coldplay were making it then, and certainly didnt need X bloody Factor. Or maybe Joe Elderberry. Also a UK winner. What about Josh Krajck, the runner-up of USA 2011? Failures. The only famed ones are those who placed second, third, etc. Which means the judges misjudge. All. The. Time. 

This time Jackie Thomas won the X Factor New Zealand. This was first ruined by one of the judge's creepy staring, while the other judge said 'bro' about fifty times per episode. Then there was the development of the singer. She started out fine enough. But singing isnt what is wanted for X Factor. No, no Skinny Love won't do. Apparently the X Factor is having an autotuned single with too much background crap. Cough, Kelly Clarkson.

I won't go on as it's getting late, but I pledge on this day to not watch next year's season. It will be crap. If talent exists, let it happen. Don't squeeze it out, genetically modify it and re-insert it. You'll end up a Barbie doll. Useful for the first ten minutes out of shop.

Bye

BABY WITH A GUN

HAD to post this.

Extremely busy with homework and all now, so gotta go.

Highway Patrol

Wow. Was just watching Highway Patrol and there are some seriously thick cops around. They threw a spike strip down for an escaping car to drive over, and whoopsy-daisy, forgot to pull it up for the two police cars! The officer just grinned ans said "Oops". Seriously. $80 per tyre, and you just wasted eight of 'em. $640 taxpayer dollars down the drain, thickhead. BASH THE BASTARD!!!

Idiot

Seriously. I just read a thing in the paper about youth deciding what they want for Christchurch's future. One said 'Christchurch should have a theme park so they don't have to go to Australia for their thrills.'. Wow, genius, you really thought that one through. Like, we could totally compare to Brisbane or the Gold Coast as a tourist area. Hell yeah, we got the beach babes, the hundreds of hotels, the massive airport, the sharks, the HEAT. Yeah we could definitely start a theme park here. In fact, why not start three? Because, hey, competition! And while we're at it, we'll build a few Sky Towers, launch a couple of TV shows, put a sign on the Port Hills saying Christchurchywood, and let's even throw a Disneyland into the mix while we're at it. Because there's a HUGE 50000 kids to satisfy here, and heaven knows that they'll be going to the theme park every day of their lives in Christchurch. And y'know, because Christchurch is about as far away from anywhere as you can GET, the tourist demand is huge. 

They say God gave you a brain, so use it. This particular 14 year old, maybe he missed the line.

Um, I THINK that's it.....

Oh yeah.

Picture

Brain anti-blank

Great. Now its the exact fecking OPPOSITE. Brain too full. Need to Alt-F4 some stuff. Like FRENCH. And R.E. And as for homework...REBOOT WINDOWS.

Although-oh hang on.

Right. Just had to move a COW off the fecking lawn. You'd think an electric fence would be enough...

Anyway, as I was ABOUT to say, (that dickheads mooing at me right outside my window. ANGRY SNARL), I've been watching some YouTube of an old show called the Two Ronnies. Check this out:

Actually this is a new one. One of the Ronnies died. Probably died laughing, or giving insurance against Catholicism to a Jew...(not joking)

Brainblank

Goddamn it. Blogger doesn't tell you where my old domain name has relocated to.

THE WORLD WILL NEVER BE FECKING PERFECT.

Got less time to think these days. Which means less blog posts. In fac,t right now I'm so bored to tears I can't even think of a decent post subject, which means I'll chicken out and show a meme.

V. SORRY.

Cynical birthday

Just before I catch a few winks, had a thought today. Why do we celebrate birthdays? It's like celebrating the getting-closer-to of death.

Now THAT was negative.

Just putting a spin on it! Happy birthday to all blog readers who read this and have a cold chill go through their brains on their next birthday. Sorry!