So, Thursday...Friday...then gone for a week. Gliding in Omarama. Should be good fun, I spent ages saving up and gliding is a hell of a lot of fun. Apart from when there's turbulence. That's hell. And after that, four weeks, then Tauranga for a week at the beach with glorious sunshine, 6am surfing and overall fun. Gotta love it.
My story for today, however, is completely disrelated. Yesterday, I noticed an article on the local news website that had a brief overview of Best and Worst Politicians. So, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to do my own! These may be slightly biased towards NZ's politicians but I'll try to keep others in thought.
1. The Queen. This year she has done exceptionally well at looking old and being a rich snob. A well-deserved 10/10 on that front. Foreign relations are a little on the downside as she hasn't done a whirlwind tour of the world like her much more bright-smile grandson with his beloved wife Kate Middleton. However, she makes up for it in the street rep and automobile department with the below picture captured earlier this year. Hell's Angels are impressed.
2. Barack Obama. Has perhaps slightly overspent on his election campaign with the most expensive one in all of history, but as long as he is safely earning his half a million per year, and has his finger resting permanently on "the button", we'll be fine. One super-terrorist down in the first term Obama, we're expecting big things this term! Maybe he'll order is recently-made-redundant dolphins to attack other foreign threats, maybe One Direction. Otherwise he'll have to put those dolphins on his unemployment benefit! Wait, what? Unemployment benefit? Hmm.
3. Julia Gillard. This woman is a bit of a try-hard these days. Remember when John Key, like, in the first month of his election, tripped up and broke his arm? Yeah. Well, Gillard has gone and fallen flat on her face during a visit to, uh, I've forgotten where. It was funny though. But she didn't break her arm, so that makes her an even worse try-hard. I can't fathom a redeeming factor for her, so I'll embed this video and move on.
4. John Key. He's been keeping a good operation running this year, with not too many huge events. Well, there was the Hobbit, which he walked down the red carpet and admitted (I will never forgive him) that he was going to the world premiere without reading the book. On the other hand, he has had some good ideas. Such as replacing the 160-odd year old Christchurch Cathedral which was the international symbol of Christchurch, with one made of cardboard. Not joking. Oh well, at least it will set some more taxpayer money aside for MPs to travel with their families overseas for "business trips". Goodness knows we couldn't have Gerry Brownlee staying in a Hilton. Silly me, the Ritz is the only way to go, huh? Then gain, he attended the Bear Grylls thingy a couple nights ago and ate huhu grubs and stuff, so at least he's slightly tougher than Gillard.
5. Kim Jong Un. Well, this guy inspired the Kim Jong Style parody of Gangnam Style (which is freaking awesome), and has done very well in the Chinese newspapers, being labelled sexiest man alive. Uhhhhh? Well, this particular nuke-happy Asian has done very well as keeping the dictatorship of North Korea alive, and certainly is capable of running a country. Although I think that when you look closely at a side-on shot of him you can see straight through one ear and out the other...
Oh, and he's going to launch a rocket. Cos, you know, you're just not a real leader if you haven't launched a rocket. Maybe he'll team up with China to send a man to the moon. Gawd, imagine those idiots on the moon. They'd probably go to eat their noodles and take their helmet off in the middle of 1/6th gravity and no atmosphere. Maybe that'd be the next viral Korean video. Vacuum Style!
So, thats the list. Well done, politicians of 2012! You have successfully managed to keep to the Politician Code of Conduct completely (which is simply 1.Lie, 2. Be bossy. 3. Do nothing) as well as standing out as the best of your categories. Which should be easy for Kimmy as he's the only dictator in the world. Of course, this just means he's the more future-toting country in the world! Certainly not the most redundant. No, no. Well, thats it for today.
No comments:
Post a Comment